Getting Unstuck by Glenetta Turner
Several years ago, I made a list of challenges I had faced, my gifts and talents and how I could use them for the Kingdom. Amongst the list was working with women who were survivors of child molestation and/or rape. As I wrote that on the paper it was if I simultaneously put on the best pair of Nike running shoes and ran full speed. I knew that entering into women's ministry on any level, would mean I would have to first deal with all of my stuff and experience the healing process, starting with pruning. And I just didn’t think I was ready. Throughout the years, I'd gone to "spot cleaning" therapy and dealt with my own stuff little by little. Yet, I had not fully surrendered the situation to the Lord in a way that would allow me to share and help other women. I even got married, had four children, ran an elementary school, graduated from college with a 2nd masters, and separated from my spouse. Therefore, when Pastor Pete sent me the email about the Trauma Healing Training, I began to weep and accept that the only way he knew God wanted me to go to the training was through divine guidance. The track star in me wanted to say, "No, Thank you. I'm not ready." Instead, I said yes. I had several excuses in my backpack including:
"I have no one to watch the children."
"I have to work."
"It's too far."
Two days before I was scheduled to leave, I fell down the stairs in my house and decided it just wasn't meant for me to go. Despite my efforts to run, I went. As I sat in the training, I reflected, I cried and through the process God was mending my heart. One of the main takeaways for me is that healing is a process. Yes, God can miraculously heal us. Absolutely! However, healing typically is a process that takes a lot of work.
As the training ended, I returned home and prepared to go to the SIAFU Women's retreat. Throughout the retreat, Dr. Ericka shared that when God heals and uses us, we have to be vulnerable and open to our story being used for His Glory. Sounds simple, but it hit me that I'd been running from him using me fully, because I was ashamed of what I had gone through. In the meantime, I was getting further and further away from my purpose. Having both experiences back to back has shifted me in a way that needed to happen. I was literally picked up and placed on the right track. Of course, as soon as I got off the plane from the conference and down from The Oaks, attacks came, full force to try and get me off track. But my resolve is different this time. I know there are girls and women who are stuck like I was. Trauma has occurred and they are stuck in the feelings produced by those incidents. No matter what, I must remain focused..."..being confident of this, that he who began a good work in me(you) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."- Philippians 1:6